This time of year is pretty bittersweet for me. This is the first year without my Dad. After losing him in May to cancer, I didn't foresee how this would affect me come Christmas. My Dad and I didn't always have the greatest of relationships, but I loved him. I really miss him.
Grandpa Grizzly was an amazing man. He was a truck driver for years and years. I didn't really pay attention to him being gone for years because my grandparents raised me so I didn't see him for every day. The year I realized that my dad wasn't always around was when I was 7. I had to have my tonsils out and was in the hospital. Back then, it wasn't an in and out operation. You spent a few days in the hospital after your surgery. I wanted to see my dad and my aunt said she wouldn't call him for me until I swallowed a piece of ice. I was crying because of the pain, but I made myself do it so that I could see my dad. When my dad finally made it to the hospital, he walked in with this huge stuffed Oscar the Grouch. Oscar was always my favorite on Sesame Street. I had that thing for years and years. I'm not even sure what happened to it.
My daughter really misses Grandpa Grizzly. He always picked on her. He loved her more than anything. She is his only grandchild. It was tough going when I first found out I was pregnant. Daddy knew how much trouble I had getting pregnant and he was worried and scared for me. He made some comments to me that he later apologized for, but when he laid eyes on her for the first time in the hospital, this big, strapping, redneck truck driver cried like a baby. He was in love from first sight. I have a picture of Kierstynne at 5 days old, in my daddy's arms sitting in his 18 wheeler.
I really miss my daddy. But, he's not the only one. Both of my grandfathers, Walter J. Ferrell and Leonard Brooks, my maternal grandmother, Dorothy Brooks, my first husband, James Michael Lambrecht, and numerous uncles and aunts are spending this Christmas in Heaven. My family misses them, but we also know that they are in a better place.
I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If there are any of your special loved ones who will be spending Christmas in Heaven this year, I would love to hear a story or stories about them. Feel free to leave a comment telling me about them.
A touching story and a lovely family photo!
ReplyDeleteAll of my grandparents have passed as well as some uncles and a cousin along with an older brother who died right after birth. I could tell stories, but I would take up your whole page.
I will say that I wish I had known my grandfathers better. One passed before I was born, the other when I was 8. He had cancer and passed in our house. He couldn't talk near the end, but I said I loved him before going to school each morning. Although he couldn't reply, I knew he loved me and I secretly knew he wasn't going to get better even though my mother did not tell me he was going to pass.
I really do miss my grandmothers and wish I told them how much I loved and appreciated them, but I console myself by telling myself they already knew that. My first grandmother was very loving, cooked the best meals, and never yelled at us for smearing her glass as we wrote her messages and drew pictures on the frosty windows. She taught me the names of foods in Polish. She passed when I was 12. I had a friend spending the night. After crying my eyes out, Caddy Shack came on with the song 'I'm alright" with the dancing gofer. I laughed like crazy and knew things would be ok.
My other grandmother was the funny one who would tell dirty jokes and taught me how to curse in Polish. She would tell my mom to take it easy on me with the chores and to let me be a child. She would see my grandfather frequently after he passed and she always knew when a relative or friend was going to pass because grandpa told her they were busy in Heaven getting ready for another visitor. She passed just before my high school graduation. She never got to see my white graduation dress so I wore it to her wake. I was, and still am, a Tomboy. When I saw her, she looked so peaceful. I couldn't cry or be sad because I knew she was going home to be with the love of her life. I even told my mom that grandma was looking hot for grandpa.
oops...meant gopher :)
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