This time of year is pretty bittersweet for me. This is the first year without my Dad. After losing him in May to cancer, I didn't foresee how this would affect me come Christmas. My Dad and I didn't always have the greatest of relationships, but I loved him. I really miss him.
Grandpa Grizzly was an amazing man. He was a truck driver for years and years. I didn't really pay attention to him being gone for years because my grandparents raised me so I didn't see him for every day. The year I realized that my dad wasn't always around was when I was 7. I had to have my tonsils out and was in the hospital. Back then, it wasn't an in and out operation. You spent a few days in the hospital after your surgery. I wanted to see my dad and my aunt said she wouldn't call him for me until I swallowed a piece of ice. I was crying because of the pain, but I made myself do it so that I could see my dad. When my dad finally made it to the hospital, he walked in with this huge stuffed Oscar the Grouch. Oscar was always my favorite on Sesame Street. I had that thing for years and years. I'm not even sure what happened to it.
My daughter really misses Grandpa Grizzly. He always picked on her. He loved her more than anything. She is his only grandchild. It was tough going when I first found out I was pregnant. Daddy knew how much trouble I had getting pregnant and he was worried and scared for me. He made some comments to me that he later apologized for, but when he laid eyes on her for the first time in the hospital, this big, strapping, redneck truck driver cried like a baby. He was in love from first sight. I have a picture of Kierstynne at 5 days old, in my daddy's arms sitting in his 18 wheeler.
I really miss my daddy. But, he's not the only one. Both of my grandfathers, Walter J. Ferrell and Leonard Brooks, my maternal grandmother, Dorothy Brooks, my first husband, James Michael Lambrecht, and numerous uncles and aunts are spending this Christmas in Heaven. My family misses them, but we also know that they are in a better place.
I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If there are any of your special loved ones who will be spending Christmas in Heaven this year, I would love to hear a story or stories about them. Feel free to leave a comment telling me about them.
