I absolutely love my pastor. I learn so much from him every sermon he preaches/teaches. I love the fact that he doesn't talk down to you or talk at you. His messages are chocked full of good little bits of information that more than not, hit home.
This Sunday, alot of what he said made complete sense and smacked me right between the eyes.
If you think that getting out of debt and having a bigger bank account will be the answer to happiness, you're wrong. Getting out of debt is a good thing, but your happiness comes from God not money.
Our wealth is not measured by our bank account. In order to be a wealthy person, read your Word daily and apply what you read to your life.
Just because you are getting older doesn't mean you are getting smarter. Your "smartness" comes from reading and applying the Word.
We should not value our things above people. There is nothing we have that should be so important that we wouldn't be willing to give it away.
Sometimes we are too tired or "sick" to go to church, but never too sick or tired to something we really want to do.
We have all heard the saying.."The grass is always greener on the other side." Could it be that there just happens to be more "fertilizer" on that side. We must learn to be content in where God has placed us in this season of our lives. Contentment comes from being comfortable with what God has given us. It's up to us whether we are going to live a contented life or not.
These are just a few of the little nuggets I picked up from my pastor on Sunday.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Resolutions
Every year, I make resolutions. Every year come February, I break them. So this year, I have decided not to make resolutions, but to make decisions. Decisions that I will stand by throughout the year. Decisions that will benefit me, that will enable me to become a better person, and that will bring me further in my walk with the Lord.
I will read the Word everyday. Even if it is only 1 verse. I will read it.
I will pray every day. Even if it is while I am folding laundry, washing dishes, or just sitting still.
I will strive to be a better wife. Even if it means doing something I really don't like.
I will strive to be a better mother. Even if that means playing with Play-doh or watching Drake and Josh.
I will strive to be a better friend. Even if that means hearing the same story again and again and giving the same advice again and again.
I will not think of myself as much. Even if that means no more scrapbooking supplies for a while.
I will get out of debt. Even if that means not going to the movies or out to eat as much.
These are things that I have decided to do to make my life better. These are decisions that I can stick to. These are not resolutions that can be broken. These are decisions that I have purposed in my heart to uphold.
I will read the Word everyday. Even if it is only 1 verse. I will read it.
I will pray every day. Even if it is while I am folding laundry, washing dishes, or just sitting still.
I will strive to be a better wife. Even if it means doing something I really don't like.
I will strive to be a better mother. Even if that means playing with Play-doh or watching Drake and Josh.
I will strive to be a better friend. Even if that means hearing the same story again and again and giving the same advice again and again.
I will not think of myself as much. Even if that means no more scrapbooking supplies for a while.
I will get out of debt. Even if that means not going to the movies or out to eat as much.
These are things that I have decided to do to make my life better. These are decisions that I can stick to. These are not resolutions that can be broken. These are decisions that I have purposed in my heart to uphold.
21 Day Facebook Fast
So, it has been 24 days and last night, day 23, I went on FB for the first time since I began to fast it. I played a couple games, caught up on some news, wished a few ppl HB and signed out. I was a total of 1 hour. Not bad. You know, I have come to the conclusion that I really didn't miss it.
While fasting FB, I was able to do 14 scrapbook layouts, make about 80 cards for three swaps, organize pictures, and even do a little housework. I spent more time with Kierstynne and Tim. I also spent time reading the Word and praying, which was the main goal of this whole fasting thing. It has actually been good not being on FB.
I will continue to catch up on the news, play a few games and such, but I have made it a point to only spend 2 hours max a day on FB. I am determined to stick to it.
While fasting FB, I was able to do 14 scrapbook layouts, make about 80 cards for three swaps, organize pictures, and even do a little housework. I spent more time with Kierstynne and Tim. I also spent time reading the Word and praying, which was the main goal of this whole fasting thing. It has actually been good not being on FB.
I will continue to catch up on the news, play a few games and such, but I have made it a point to only spend 2 hours max a day on FB. I am determined to stick to it.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Favorite Christmas Memory
I want to hear from you. Please leave a comment and let me know your most favorite Christmas memory. We all have them, some are full of joy, some are full of sorrow, but we all have them. Leave yours here.
My favorite Christmas memory is the year Kierstynne was 15 months old. She was so cute opening up her presents. She wasn't sure what to do exactly, but she tore into them like crazy. I think she would have been just as happy with the paper and the boxes as she was the present inside. There was paper everywhere. She took the bows and stuck them to her head, her clothes, her legs and when she couldn't find anymore space on herself, she started sticking them to me and her dad. She was so full of joy. Her eyes were full of sparkle. Her face was lit up like the tree. She wasn't old enough to give me a list a mile long. She didn't understand materialism. She was excited over everything she opened. Even the clothes. I will never forget that Christmas.
Now, tell me yours.
My favorite Christmas memory is the year Kierstynne was 15 months old. She was so cute opening up her presents. She wasn't sure what to do exactly, but she tore into them like crazy. I think she would have been just as happy with the paper and the boxes as she was the present inside. There was paper everywhere. She took the bows and stuck them to her head, her clothes, her legs and when she couldn't find anymore space on herself, she started sticking them to me and her dad. She was so full of joy. Her eyes were full of sparkle. Her face was lit up like the tree. She wasn't old enough to give me a list a mile long. She didn't understand materialism. She was excited over everything she opened. Even the clothes. I will never forget that Christmas.
Now, tell me yours.
Such a bad blogger
It's so pathetic. I am such a bad blogger. I had great intentions when I started this blog. I was going to write everyday, even if it wasn't anything major. Yeah, that hasn't happened. But, with the Christmas season coming up and Thanksgiving just behind us, I find myself in a funk. This time of year is very hard for me. This year it will be 14 years since Jimmy was killed, and even after all this time, I still get funky. I don't even realize it is creeping up on me until WHAM!! depression starts in, feelings of sadness, worthlessness, small panic attacks. I know that God has healed me of these things back in Augus/September, but they still try and creep in. It doesn't help that I just turned 39 on Sunday. Wow..39. I remember when I thought that was so old. LOL. Now, I think, mmm...not so old. I am still pretty young. I have a lot of life to live yet. Although some mornings I think my body would disagree. It creeks, cracks, moans and groans and that is before I even get out of bed. It takes me about an hour to get the old girl warmed up and primed so that we can move around without creeking, cracking and popping. I remember years back when I could just hop out of bed, throw my clothes on and be out the door. Now, not so much. Wait, who am I kidding...not at all.
I was reading all my friends post this past month about things they were thankful for. It was nice to see that people still remember what the holidays are all about. I just can't believe how commercialized this time of year has gotten. Before Halloween was even over, there were some stores that had Christmas stuff out already. Now, don't get me wrong. I like Christmas. I love to go look at lights, make Christmas cookies, and I even like to listen to Christmas music. But come on, November 1st? I do not want to start celebrating Christmas before I even celebrate Thanksgiving. Let me get my fill of turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, etc before I start thinking about making Christmas cookies, listening to the carols and buying gifts.
I wish I were more like those who start in January buying for the next Christmas. I am a December shopper all the way. Most of the time, I buy about 2 weeks before Christmas. That gives me just enough time to get everything wrapped. This year is going to be a gift card year. It is so much easier. They won't return it, it's the right size and color. :). Although, I did buy Kierstynne two presents when we went on our Ladie's Retreat in November, I usally wait.
I am making a New Year's Resolution this year. I am going to post something everyday on here. Even if it's just a short prayer. Maybe a picture, a thought, something. I want to have a record of my thoughts for a whole year. I want to see how much I grow in the Lord as well as how my life changes over a year. I have a feeling my life as I know it is about to change. We'll see..
I was reading all my friends post this past month about things they were thankful for. It was nice to see that people still remember what the holidays are all about. I just can't believe how commercialized this time of year has gotten. Before Halloween was even over, there were some stores that had Christmas stuff out already. Now, don't get me wrong. I like Christmas. I love to go look at lights, make Christmas cookies, and I even like to listen to Christmas music. But come on, November 1st? I do not want to start celebrating Christmas before I even celebrate Thanksgiving. Let me get my fill of turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, etc before I start thinking about making Christmas cookies, listening to the carols and buying gifts.
I wish I were more like those who start in January buying for the next Christmas. I am a December shopper all the way. Most of the time, I buy about 2 weeks before Christmas. That gives me just enough time to get everything wrapped. This year is going to be a gift card year. It is so much easier. They won't return it, it's the right size and color. :). Although, I did buy Kierstynne two presents when we went on our Ladie's Retreat in November, I usally wait.
I am making a New Year's Resolution this year. I am going to post something everyday on here. Even if it's just a short prayer. Maybe a picture, a thought, something. I want to have a record of my thoughts for a whole year. I want to see how much I grow in the Lord as well as how my life changes over a year. I have a feeling my life as I know it is about to change. We'll see..
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
What do we really need?
In my last post, I talked about the things we need verses the things we want. Here's alittle more of my thoughts on that.
As I sit and write this, my brain is whirling a hundred miles an hour. What are my needs? How do I learn the difference between what I think I need and what I truly need? What about what I want? Well, let's see if we can figure it out.
We, as human beings, have some basic needs. We need food to make our bodies work. Yes, food is a good thing. I may not always have exactly what I want to eat all the time, like a nice, thick, juicy T-Bone steak with a loaded baked potatoe and a salad, but I have food to keep my body running. The way God designed our bodies is amazing to me. He knew exactly how much of each nutrient we would need, how much oxygen, carbon dioxide, nitrogen, hydrogen, etc that it would take to make our bodies function. If one little thing is out of whack, it throws the rest of our body off track. I have diabetes and my thyroid doesn't work right, so my body is so out of whack. But, we must still feed it for it to be able to function. We also need water to keep us hydrated. You can go up to a month without eating and still be ok, but after 3 days of no water, your body will shut down. It can't function. Jesus says that if we come to Him, He will give us Living Water. Water that is so much better than what we need to survive.
We need shelter. A home. A roof over our heads. That doesn't mean we must have a million dollar home. I guess it would be nice to have a great big ol' house with lots of space, but think about all the dusting you would have to do. :). Our shelter, no matter what size, can be beautiful. We must take care of the the shelter God gives us. My house is old. It needs alot of work, but God blessed us with this house. We have no mortgage. It's a blessing.
We need clothing. Yes, not many people would want to see me running around naked. It might blind them. But, I don't have to have clothes that cost as much as a car payment. My jeans are old, but they fit and cover me up. I still have shirts that I had before Kierstynne was born. When I met Tim, I had 84 pair of shoes. Now I have 4. I don't need designer clothing. I just NEED clothing to cover me up, keep me warm, and look nice. God blessed me in this area too. My aunt lost almost 100 pounds and gave me all of the stuff she couldn't wear anymore. 8 bags of clothes to be exact. So, now I have nice things to wear to church and around the house. I don't need to have thousand dollar shoes and a purse to match them. God has given me what I need.
We need a car. In today's world, you really can't get anywhere without one. I would love to have a new 2012 Chevrolet Camaro. Have you seen them? They are beautiful. I WANT one. Do I NEED one? Nope. We have a Trailblazer that sometimes needs a little help but it gets us where we are going and back. It gets me to the store to buy the food we need, it get's us to church for the Living Water, and it runs. That's all we NEED from a car. Sometimes, our cars frustrated us, like when mine sprung a leak, but God fixes that too. He sent my cousin up here to fix it. Would I like to have a beautiful, shiny, brand new, straight off the showroom floor Camaro. You betcha. Do I need it? Nope.
We need jobs. In order to survive in this economy, we need to work. I have been blessed to be able to stay home and homeschool Kierstynne. That is my job. I am a mother, wife, housekeeper, taxi driver, laundry maid, cook, accountant, planner, and a repairman. I have many jobs, but don't earn any money. Tim works and works hard. He brings in the money that we survive on. Does he NEED his job? Yes. Does he have the job he really WANTS? No. God has provided a good job with medical benefits and a decent hourly wage. It could be better, but it could be alot worse. God, in His Word, tells us we need to be good stewards with what we have. If He can't trust us with a little, how can He trust us with alot? I admit that I am not a very good steward. Sometimes I let my wanting get me in trouble. I have really been trying to do much better and slowly I am learning. If Tim had the job he really wants, to be a Christian Artist, singing for God on the road, we wouldn't have much time with him. He would be gone alot. There would be more money coming in, but at what cost? What would we have to give up in order to have more money? God knows the plans He has for Tim and if it means singing, that's awesome. If not, that's ok too.
We need family and friends. God never meant for us to be alone. He devised marriage and family so that we wouldn't be alone. God knew exactly what He was doing when He picked the family you would be born into. We may not always like that family and sometimes even wonder why He picked it, but He sees the big picture where we only get a snapshot. There was a rhyme and a reason for why God put you in the family you are in. God also places our friends in our lives for a reason. Some friends only stay for a season. They teach us something. Some friends stay around for years and years and become like family. I have a couple of those kinds of friends and I wouldn't trade them for anything. We NEED people to communicate with, to share our feelings with, to share our good times and our bad. We need our family and friends to support and encourage us, to lift us up, to help guide us. We may want to have a different family, or different friends, but we do need them.
So, I am slowly learning about the things we need. I have realized that I NEED a relationship with Jesus. I NEED to listen to His voice. I NEED to read my Bible everyday. I NEED a strong and consistant prayer life. I NEED God's grace and mercy. But, I also NEED to WANT these things. These are wants that are profitable for me. Wanting more money, a bigger house, nicer clothes, a shiny new car, and more stuff are not wants that are profitable for me.
Help me Lord to learn to WANT things that are going to help me in my walk with You. Teach me about the things You want me to want. Guide me, lead me, and show me the path You have laid out for me. Thank You God.
As I sit and write this, my brain is whirling a hundred miles an hour. What are my needs? How do I learn the difference between what I think I need and what I truly need? What about what I want? Well, let's see if we can figure it out.
We, as human beings, have some basic needs. We need food to make our bodies work. Yes, food is a good thing. I may not always have exactly what I want to eat all the time, like a nice, thick, juicy T-Bone steak with a loaded baked potatoe and a salad, but I have food to keep my body running. The way God designed our bodies is amazing to me. He knew exactly how much of each nutrient we would need, how much oxygen, carbon dioxide, nitrogen, hydrogen, etc that it would take to make our bodies function. If one little thing is out of whack, it throws the rest of our body off track. I have diabetes and my thyroid doesn't work right, so my body is so out of whack. But, we must still feed it for it to be able to function. We also need water to keep us hydrated. You can go up to a month without eating and still be ok, but after 3 days of no water, your body will shut down. It can't function. Jesus says that if we come to Him, He will give us Living Water. Water that is so much better than what we need to survive.
We need shelter. A home. A roof over our heads. That doesn't mean we must have a million dollar home. I guess it would be nice to have a great big ol' house with lots of space, but think about all the dusting you would have to do. :). Our shelter, no matter what size, can be beautiful. We must take care of the the shelter God gives us. My house is old. It needs alot of work, but God blessed us with this house. We have no mortgage. It's a blessing.
We need clothing. Yes, not many people would want to see me running around naked. It might blind them. But, I don't have to have clothes that cost as much as a car payment. My jeans are old, but they fit and cover me up. I still have shirts that I had before Kierstynne was born. When I met Tim, I had 84 pair of shoes. Now I have 4. I don't need designer clothing. I just NEED clothing to cover me up, keep me warm, and look nice. God blessed me in this area too. My aunt lost almost 100 pounds and gave me all of the stuff she couldn't wear anymore. 8 bags of clothes to be exact. So, now I have nice things to wear to church and around the house. I don't need to have thousand dollar shoes and a purse to match them. God has given me what I need.
We need a car. In today's world, you really can't get anywhere without one. I would love to have a new 2012 Chevrolet Camaro. Have you seen them? They are beautiful. I WANT one. Do I NEED one? Nope. We have a Trailblazer that sometimes needs a little help but it gets us where we are going and back. It gets me to the store to buy the food we need, it get's us to church for the Living Water, and it runs. That's all we NEED from a car. Sometimes, our cars frustrated us, like when mine sprung a leak, but God fixes that too. He sent my cousin up here to fix it. Would I like to have a beautiful, shiny, brand new, straight off the showroom floor Camaro. You betcha. Do I need it? Nope.
We need jobs. In order to survive in this economy, we need to work. I have been blessed to be able to stay home and homeschool Kierstynne. That is my job. I am a mother, wife, housekeeper, taxi driver, laundry maid, cook, accountant, planner, and a repairman. I have many jobs, but don't earn any money. Tim works and works hard. He brings in the money that we survive on. Does he NEED his job? Yes. Does he have the job he really WANTS? No. God has provided a good job with medical benefits and a decent hourly wage. It could be better, but it could be alot worse. God, in His Word, tells us we need to be good stewards with what we have. If He can't trust us with a little, how can He trust us with alot? I admit that I am not a very good steward. Sometimes I let my wanting get me in trouble. I have really been trying to do much better and slowly I am learning. If Tim had the job he really wants, to be a Christian Artist, singing for God on the road, we wouldn't have much time with him. He would be gone alot. There would be more money coming in, but at what cost? What would we have to give up in order to have more money? God knows the plans He has for Tim and if it means singing, that's awesome. If not, that's ok too.
We need family and friends. God never meant for us to be alone. He devised marriage and family so that we wouldn't be alone. God knew exactly what He was doing when He picked the family you would be born into. We may not always like that family and sometimes even wonder why He picked it, but He sees the big picture where we only get a snapshot. There was a rhyme and a reason for why God put you in the family you are in. God also places our friends in our lives for a reason. Some friends only stay for a season. They teach us something. Some friends stay around for years and years and become like family. I have a couple of those kinds of friends and I wouldn't trade them for anything. We NEED people to communicate with, to share our feelings with, to share our good times and our bad. We need our family and friends to support and encourage us, to lift us up, to help guide us. We may want to have a different family, or different friends, but we do need them.
So, I am slowly learning about the things we need. I have realized that I NEED a relationship with Jesus. I NEED to listen to His voice. I NEED to read my Bible everyday. I NEED a strong and consistant prayer life. I NEED God's grace and mercy. But, I also NEED to WANT these things. These are wants that are profitable for me. Wanting more money, a bigger house, nicer clothes, a shiny new car, and more stuff are not wants that are profitable for me.
Help me Lord to learn to WANT things that are going to help me in my walk with You. Teach me about the things You want me to want. Guide me, lead me, and show me the path You have laid out for me. Thank You God.
Some thoughts
Well, it's been a while since I last blogged. Time flies when you are having fun. We have been pretty busy lately. Lots of stuff happening.
Since my last post, my car broke down, Kierstynne lost another tooth, we got to go to the Third Day/Tenth Avenue North concert for free, went to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate two birthdays and I have been taking a School of the Holy Spirit class at church. I have reconnected with two friends from my past and have a had a couple of chances to witness. So all in all, it's been a pretty good past few weeks.
My cousin came up and fixed the car for the price of dinner and a can of Stopleak. What a blessing. Family is such a good thing. Sometimes we get frustrated with our family, but 99% of the time, they are great.
Kierstynne is so excited to have lost another tooth. It's one of the top front ones so now she looks like a snagglepuss. She is so cute, but looks so funny. The tooth fairy forgot to come visit her last night so I had to send her an email this morning. I can't believe she forgot...what a bad tooth fairy.
A friend of ours hooked us up with a volunteer position for the Third Day concert on Sunday night. We had to sell merchandise, but were well compensated. It turned out that there were too many volunteers, so Tim and I , being the last ones on the list, got to so in and watch the entire concert for FREE!! Plus Tim got a t-shirt and I got the 3 pack of CDs. The new Third Day cd, the new Tenth Avenue North cd and a cd from a guy named Trevor Morgan. He is new on the scene, but he is very good. His song, "Jesus Rides the Subway" is an awesome song.
Saturday, the 5th, we went to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate two birthdays. One turned two, the other turned 28. Father and Daughter, born on the same day. How cool is that. We had a blast. Kierstynne ended up with over 1200 tickets from playing games. Of course, her dad and I helped, but she had so much fun playing those games. I love that place. Where else can your kid go, have lunch and play games while you sit and talk without having to worry about her being kidnapped. It's great.
Two of my friends from my past looked me up on Facebook. One I went to school with and the other I met through some other friends. Michelle, my hs friend, was in a really bad accident in June. She broke her pelvis in a few different spots, had severe lacerations and the dash crushed her leg. She was in a wheelchair and hospital bed all summer. She is very blessed to be alive. She is walking again, but it's slow going. She started with a walker, moved to a cane, and now can walk on her own, but she has to take it easy. She has to use the motorized wheel chairs in places like Wal-mart, because her legs and hips give out on her. All because someone else wasn't paying attention. We tend to forget that we aren't the only ones in the universe and that we have to be aware of others. If the other person had been paying attention, the accident could have been avoided. So many times we have "accidents" because we are too focused on ourselves and our plans instead of paying attention to the world around us. Stop and take a look around. It's amazing what you might find.
My friend, Brandi, has Hogekins Lymphoma. She has been through chemo and radiation. She lost all her hair, and was sick as a dog. This is the second battle with cancer in her short life. She's younger than I am. Brandi and I were inseperable for a long time. The last time I saw her was 14 years ago at Jimmy's funeral. I have missed her beautiful smiling face. She was telling me that she is so thankful to have the life she has. She doesn't have everything she wants, but she has everything she needs. We all should be that way. God doesn't guarantee us everything we want, because there is alot of stuff out there to want, but He does guarantee us He will provide for all our needs. What do we really need?
Pastor Rugg began the School of the Holy Spirit 4 weeks ago. It has been very interesting. I am so enjoying learning in his class. He is a great teacher. One of our assignments has been to witness to atleast one person every two weeks. I thought this was going to be next to impossible because I really don't go anywhere to witness. But, God has put people in my path for that very reason. It is amazing what God can do when we let Him.
Tim has been smacked up side the head by God these past few weeks. Two different times he has heard the same message, "Give God your dreams, desires, wants and see what He can do." I don't know what Tim's dreams and desires are, but I think he is getting the picture. God can do amazing things with the little we give Him. He gave the oyster the ability to make a beautiful pearl from one grain of sand. One chunk of compressed coal turns into one of the most valuable gems in the world, the diamond. He spoke this entire universe into being with ONE word. He sent His one and only Son to make a way for all human life to spend eternity with Him. God can do alot with a little. Why not let Him?
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Sad Day
Today was a sad day. Today we lost a member of our family. Today we said goodbye to a beloved pet. Tim's Grandma Ruth had to put down her dog, Bear. I offered to go with her to the Humane Society to put him to sleep and it was the most hear wrenching thing I think I have ever voluntarily done.
Bear was 11 years old. Gram got him the summer Tim and I were married. He was the furriest little critter you ever did see when he was a puppy. He was Rottie and Spaniel mix. What a combo right? He never knew he was a dog. Gram treated him like a person. He had eggs and bacon for breakfast, steak, chicken or pork for dinner. He loved his home cooked meals. Bear went everywhere Gram went. He would ride in the front of her car, paws on the dash, looking a the world. Gram would take him over to the creek at Mill City AOG to go swimming. When he was done swimming he would commando crawl across the grass to dry himself off. He went to weddings, funerals, baby showers, and yep, he even went to church.
He very rarely barked. I have never seen a dog that didn't bark, but Bear didn't. He got along with most other animals. He wouldn't bark at wild animals when he saw them, but he would chase a cat in a heartbeat.
When we went over to the Humane Society, they were very nice. We didn't even have to take Bear out of the car. The ladies came out to the car and gave him a sedative. When that took effect, they brought out the meds. They gave him the shot and we waited. He laid his head down on the seat and just looked so sad. About 6-10 minutes later, the lady came back out, and Bear was still hanging on. She gave him another dose and gave us some time to be with Bear. The second shot didn't work. It slowed his heartrate and breathing, but after another 10-15 minutes he was still alive. The lady said the the cancerous tumor was absorbing the medication, so it was taking long.
Do you have any clue how heart breaking it was to watch Gram say goodbye to her best friend? Let me clue you in..it was harsh. I went with her for moral support and I cried harder and longer than she did. I sat in the seat with him, stroking his fur, watching his last few minutes. Finally the lady came out and the final shot went right into his heart. Within 2-3 minutes, he was finally gone. I had no idea that putting an animal down was so hard.
I have decided that when our Bully is ready for the next step of his life, he better just lay down and take his last breaths because I cannot go through that again. I don't know how the workers at the Humane Society do it every day. I would be a basket case. There isn't enough anti depressants out there for me to do that job. I know all about the cycle of life, but that is one cycle I don't want to have to witness again.
We brought him home and buried him in our backyard with all of Grandma's other dogs. I'm thinking if they ever X-ray our yard, Tim and I are going to prison..
Bear was 11 years old. Gram got him the summer Tim and I were married. He was the furriest little critter you ever did see when he was a puppy. He was Rottie and Spaniel mix. What a combo right? He never knew he was a dog. Gram treated him like a person. He had eggs and bacon for breakfast, steak, chicken or pork for dinner. He loved his home cooked meals. Bear went everywhere Gram went. He would ride in the front of her car, paws on the dash, looking a the world. Gram would take him over to the creek at Mill City AOG to go swimming. When he was done swimming he would commando crawl across the grass to dry himself off. He went to weddings, funerals, baby showers, and yep, he even went to church.
He very rarely barked. I have never seen a dog that didn't bark, but Bear didn't. He got along with most other animals. He wouldn't bark at wild animals when he saw them, but he would chase a cat in a heartbeat.
When we went over to the Humane Society, they were very nice. We didn't even have to take Bear out of the car. The ladies came out to the car and gave him a sedative. When that took effect, they brought out the meds. They gave him the shot and we waited. He laid his head down on the seat and just looked so sad. About 6-10 minutes later, the lady came back out, and Bear was still hanging on. She gave him another dose and gave us some time to be with Bear. The second shot didn't work. It slowed his heartrate and breathing, but after another 10-15 minutes he was still alive. The lady said the the cancerous tumor was absorbing the medication, so it was taking long.
Do you have any clue how heart breaking it was to watch Gram say goodbye to her best friend? Let me clue you in..it was harsh. I went with her for moral support and I cried harder and longer than she did. I sat in the seat with him, stroking his fur, watching his last few minutes. Finally the lady came out and the final shot went right into his heart. Within 2-3 minutes, he was finally gone. I had no idea that putting an animal down was so hard.
I have decided that when our Bully is ready for the next step of his life, he better just lay down and take his last breaths because I cannot go through that again. I don't know how the workers at the Humane Society do it every day. I would be a basket case. There isn't enough anti depressants out there for me to do that job. I know all about the cycle of life, but that is one cycle I don't want to have to witness again.
We brought him home and buried him in our backyard with all of Grandma's other dogs. I'm thinking if they ever X-ray our yard, Tim and I are going to prison..
Saturday, October 15, 2011
A New Realization
Today I experienced a bittersweet moment. Today I realized that my baby girl is starting to notice boys. She's only 7, but going on 27. She is way too smart for her own good. So, today I realize that I need to make her wear blinders when we go out in public. Here's the situation...
Tim and the men have gone to Maryland for their Honor Bound, so I decided to take Kierstynne out for chinese. So, on the way home, we stop at Sheetz to get a drink. As we are standing in line, the door opens and in walks this body builder. Now, slow down, don't get ahead of me....I have to say that he was very nice looking. He wasn't so ripped that his veins were popping, but he was very nicely defined. He was wearing a t-back tank top and shorts. Nice calf muscles too by the way. Anyway..as we are standing there in line, after I saw him, I glanced down at Kierstynne and her eyes were bugging out of her head. I stared at her to see what she was going to do, and as he proceeded to walk between the person in front of us and us, I watched Kierstynne's eyes follow this man and she never moved her head. LOL. I lost it...I laughed until I thought I would pee my britches. She got mad and stomped her foot and demanded to know what I was laughing at. I was laughing so hard, I couldn't tell her. I know everyone in Sheetz thought I was high or had lost my mind. But to see my 7 year old daughter try and be nonchalant about watching a goodlooking man walk by was hilarious.
I don't think that she was actually looking at him in a lustful sort of way because she doesn't understand lust..at least I think she doesn't. I think she was just amazed at how big his biceps and pecs were. She did tell me that his arms were bigger than her head and that if her daddy had muscles that big, he could pick her up with one arm. If her daddy had muscles like that, suffice it to say that he would never been seen again..
So, now I must be diligent in my observations of my daughter when we are out in public. At least she knew enough not to let her jaw fall open..:)
Tim and the men have gone to Maryland for their Honor Bound, so I decided to take Kierstynne out for chinese. So, on the way home, we stop at Sheetz to get a drink. As we are standing in line, the door opens and in walks this body builder. Now, slow down, don't get ahead of me....I have to say that he was very nice looking. He wasn't so ripped that his veins were popping, but he was very nicely defined. He was wearing a t-back tank top and shorts. Nice calf muscles too by the way. Anyway..as we are standing there in line, after I saw him, I glanced down at Kierstynne and her eyes were bugging out of her head. I stared at her to see what she was going to do, and as he proceeded to walk between the person in front of us and us, I watched Kierstynne's eyes follow this man and she never moved her head. LOL. I lost it...I laughed until I thought I would pee my britches. She got mad and stomped her foot and demanded to know what I was laughing at. I was laughing so hard, I couldn't tell her. I know everyone in Sheetz thought I was high or had lost my mind. But to see my 7 year old daughter try and be nonchalant about watching a goodlooking man walk by was hilarious.
I don't think that she was actually looking at him in a lustful sort of way because she doesn't understand lust..at least I think she doesn't. I think she was just amazed at how big his biceps and pecs were. She did tell me that his arms were bigger than her head and that if her daddy had muscles that big, he could pick her up with one arm. If her daddy had muscles like that, suffice it to say that he would never been seen again..
So, now I must be diligent in my observations of my daughter when we are out in public. At least she knew enough not to let her jaw fall open..:)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Control Issues
Tonight, at church, yes church, the devil tried to cause me to fall back into the old me. Stupid devil. Doesn't he realize that he has been defeated? Kicked back to hell where he belongs? Has no authority over me? Guess not.
I know that God has done such a work in me that it still amazes me that He loves me enough to keep working in me, with me. That old me who felt the need to control everything because of the chaos in my life has been set free. Praise God!! But, that stupid old devil tries to cause me to go back there. Tonight was a perfect example.
Tim and some of the other men of our church are going on their yearly retreat, Honor Bound, this Friday. Our Pastor has made an appointment for the men to tour the Harley Davidson factory in York, Pa at 10 am. They are having to leave the church at 6am. 6 AM...most of you know that I am NOT a morning person. I am just rolling over for my second window of sleep at 6 am. But, I have to make sure that Tim is at the Sheetz in Clarks Summit at 6:15am. That is way early. Too early for me. So what do I do? I go to Pastor Jim and say, "I have a stupid question. Why are you guys leaving so early Friday morning when it only takes 2 hours to get to York?" Yep, I did it. I fell back into my controlling self. Never mind that I am not even going so what does it matter what time they leave? It's the men's time together and to have a vacation away from the wives and children. Who am I to tell them when to leave? But I tried.
Lord forgive me for falling for the devil's tricks again. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and trust other people to do what is best. They aren't stupid and I am not the only one who knows how to do things. Help me Lord to trust You to help me defeat the devil and his stupid tricks.
The thing is, that stupid devil will never give up trying to drag us back into the old ways. He doesn't want us out of bondage. He knows his time is short and he is trying everything in his arsenal to cause us to fall away and revert back to the old us. Don't let him. The Word says that "No weapon formed against you shall prosper." So that means that nothing that the devil tries will work as long as you trust fully and rely on God Almighty.
In Corinthians it tells us that we are "a new creation. That the old has passed away and ALL things have become new." Thank God that I am not who I was and I don't have to believe a word that comes out of the devil's mouth because he is a liar. The Father of Lies is what the Word calls him. He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it. Place guards all around your mind, heart, and spirit that will protect you from his wiles. He is crafty. He will use your past to affect your future if you let him. Stand firm on the Solid Rock. Dwell in the covering of the Almighty. Let God fight the battles for you and you will never lose.
I know that God has done such a work in me that it still amazes me that He loves me enough to keep working in me, with me. That old me who felt the need to control everything because of the chaos in my life has been set free. Praise God!! But, that stupid old devil tries to cause me to go back there. Tonight was a perfect example.
Tim and some of the other men of our church are going on their yearly retreat, Honor Bound, this Friday. Our Pastor has made an appointment for the men to tour the Harley Davidson factory in York, Pa at 10 am. They are having to leave the church at 6am. 6 AM...most of you know that I am NOT a morning person. I am just rolling over for my second window of sleep at 6 am. But, I have to make sure that Tim is at the Sheetz in Clarks Summit at 6:15am. That is way early. Too early for me. So what do I do? I go to Pastor Jim and say, "I have a stupid question. Why are you guys leaving so early Friday morning when it only takes 2 hours to get to York?" Yep, I did it. I fell back into my controlling self. Never mind that I am not even going so what does it matter what time they leave? It's the men's time together and to have a vacation away from the wives and children. Who am I to tell them when to leave? But I tried.
Lord forgive me for falling for the devil's tricks again. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and trust other people to do what is best. They aren't stupid and I am not the only one who knows how to do things. Help me Lord to trust You to help me defeat the devil and his stupid tricks.
The thing is, that stupid devil will never give up trying to drag us back into the old ways. He doesn't want us out of bondage. He knows his time is short and he is trying everything in his arsenal to cause us to fall away and revert back to the old us. Don't let him. The Word says that "No weapon formed against you shall prosper." So that means that nothing that the devil tries will work as long as you trust fully and rely on God Almighty.
In Corinthians it tells us that we are "a new creation. That the old has passed away and ALL things have become new." Thank God that I am not who I was and I don't have to believe a word that comes out of the devil's mouth because he is a liar. The Father of Lies is what the Word calls him. He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it. Place guards all around your mind, heart, and spirit that will protect you from his wiles. He is crafty. He will use your past to affect your future if you let him. Stand firm on the Solid Rock. Dwell in the covering of the Almighty. Let God fight the battles for you and you will never lose.
I am Beautiful
Last night as I sat at my scrap desk working, I had on The Spirit XM radio channel on Directv. I was thinking to myself that sometimes I feel so unworthy. So ugly. Because of my past, I still struggle with these feelings. Even though I know that God has set me free from my past, those thoughts have been so ingrained that they still rear their ugly head every now and again. As I sat listening to the tv and using the creativity that God gave me, this song came on. I hadn't ever heard it before and it came out last year. Mercy Me has some amazing songs out there that just touch the inner spirit man of myself.
Take a listen and really hear what the lyrics are saying. It touched me and made me feel, well, BEAUTIFUL!!!
http://youtu.be/7C2o0jHNRuU
Take a listen and really hear what the lyrics are saying. It touched me and made me feel, well, BEAUTIFUL!!!
http://youtu.be/7C2o0jHNRuU
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Crazy Mom
It's now 3:50 am and I am just now going to bed because I have spent the last 5 hours playing games on Webkinz.com to help Kierstynne collect webkinz coins so she can decorate and enlarge her tree frog's house. His name is Mr. Greenly. How sad is my life...lol After the day we had yesterday, I should have let her earn her own coins, but I'm a good mom and I love my kid. And the games are actually kinda fun. LOL. So, because of this I am not going to be posting tonight about anything serious. Stay tuned for another informative post from my many thoughts. Good night..
Monday, October 3, 2011
Dealing with an angry child
I love my daughter more than life its self, but there are days when I want to slam her through the wall. Today was one of those days.
We had a great school day. 6 math lessons and practiced spelling words. All done in 21/2 hours. Great day. Then 7 pm rolls around. I don't know if she is just overly tired or what, but I was waiting for her head to start spinning around.
Kierstynne went upstairs and got her daddy's guitar..which is ok..daddy told her she could play. She plays in the living room for about 20 minutes ( she's pretty good too not having any lessons) then she comes in the kitchen where I am eating dinner and reading a book...Multitasking my way..lol She wants to sit in here with me so that I can watch her play. No problem. I pull out the chair for her so she has enough room and won't bang the guitar off the table. She sits in the chairs, puts the guitar in her lap and proceeds to start huffing and puffing. You would have thought she was the big bad wolf or something. I ask her what her problem is and she looks at me with this look that made my palm itch to smack it off her face. She proceeds to yell at me that it isn't working. That she is angry. I, very calmly, say to her, "Ok. What isn't working?" You could see it in her eyes that she wanted to slam the guitar down and start yelling. I gave the look..you know what I mean..and she thinks better of slamming her daddy's guitar. She starts yelling and fussing so, being the good mom that I am, I, not so calmly this time, tell her she better watch herself because she is about to get in serious trouble. WWWEEELLLLLLL....she looks at me and says, "WHATEVER."
Oh no..she had done it. She turned me into my mother. I looked at her and ask her what she just said. She looked at me, all brave and whatnot, and said, "I said..whatever." Do you have any idea how hard it was for me not to backhand her out of the chair. I think I probably would have if she hadn't still been holding her daddy's guitar. I was losing it. I felt the anger well up.
"Hang on to your sanity", I thought. So, I told her to put the guitar up. She leaned it up against the bookshelf. No, I told her. Put it in the case, go brush your teeth, put your pjs on and go to bed. Well, that was just the icing on the cake. She flipped. She starts crying and stomping around. I sat in the chair thinking to myself, "Do I beat her now or wait until I calm down?" My anger was feeding off of hers. Not a good sign. I gripped the edge of the table, looked at her, and in a very low voice said,"You have a choice, either go do what I asked you to do or I am getting the paddle, pulling your pants down and going to beat your behind." Needless to say, Mommy won this round.
What has gotten into my child? A year ago she was the sweetest, most loving child ever. Now she has been invaded by aliens. Aliens that know exactly how to push my buttons. I don't like this new Kierstynne. I want my sweet little baby girl back. I know she is growing up and those hormones are beginning to kick in, but this is ridiculous. She even told me I was the meanest mommy ever. Yeah ok, she has never watched Mommy Dearest. I know I am not mean, but it hurts when your child looks at you with tears running down her face and tells you how mean you are.
After she got ready for bed, I called her to me. I calmly told her that I loved her very much and that I was sorry she became so angry. I explained to her that even Jesus got angry, but that the Bible says we aren't supposed to sin in our anger. I explained to her that it was her choice to fly off the handle like that not mine. Her actions got her sent to bed early. I prayed with her and hugged her and told her again how much I loved her. This time, she told me she loved me too.
So, as I sit here writing this blog, I feel drained. Knowing that this isn't the last time I will have to deal with alien Kierstynne's anger and attitude, I pray for strength. I pray God will show me the right things to say, the correct way to punish her when she disobeys, and that He will give me the patience to see her through. I love my child so much and only want her to grow up to be a well rounded, good person who loves the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind and strength. I hate it when she has those fits. Will she grow out of them? I surely hope so.
We had a great school day. 6 math lessons and practiced spelling words. All done in 21/2 hours. Great day. Then 7 pm rolls around. I don't know if she is just overly tired or what, but I was waiting for her head to start spinning around.
Kierstynne went upstairs and got her daddy's guitar..which is ok..daddy told her she could play. She plays in the living room for about 20 minutes ( she's pretty good too not having any lessons) then she comes in the kitchen where I am eating dinner and reading a book...Multitasking my way..lol She wants to sit in here with me so that I can watch her play. No problem. I pull out the chair for her so she has enough room and won't bang the guitar off the table. She sits in the chairs, puts the guitar in her lap and proceeds to start huffing and puffing. You would have thought she was the big bad wolf or something. I ask her what her problem is and she looks at me with this look that made my palm itch to smack it off her face. She proceeds to yell at me that it isn't working. That she is angry. I, very calmly, say to her, "Ok. What isn't working?" You could see it in her eyes that she wanted to slam the guitar down and start yelling. I gave the look..you know what I mean..and she thinks better of slamming her daddy's guitar. She starts yelling and fussing so, being the good mom that I am, I, not so calmly this time, tell her she better watch herself because she is about to get in serious trouble. WWWEEELLLLLLL....she looks at me and says, "WHATEVER."
Oh no..she had done it. She turned me into my mother. I looked at her and ask her what she just said. She looked at me, all brave and whatnot, and said, "I said..whatever." Do you have any idea how hard it was for me not to backhand her out of the chair. I think I probably would have if she hadn't still been holding her daddy's guitar. I was losing it. I felt the anger well up.
"Hang on to your sanity", I thought. So, I told her to put the guitar up. She leaned it up against the bookshelf. No, I told her. Put it in the case, go brush your teeth, put your pjs on and go to bed. Well, that was just the icing on the cake. She flipped. She starts crying and stomping around. I sat in the chair thinking to myself, "Do I beat her now or wait until I calm down?" My anger was feeding off of hers. Not a good sign. I gripped the edge of the table, looked at her, and in a very low voice said,"You have a choice, either go do what I asked you to do or I am getting the paddle, pulling your pants down and going to beat your behind." Needless to say, Mommy won this round.
What has gotten into my child? A year ago she was the sweetest, most loving child ever. Now she has been invaded by aliens. Aliens that know exactly how to push my buttons. I don't like this new Kierstynne. I want my sweet little baby girl back. I know she is growing up and those hormones are beginning to kick in, but this is ridiculous. She even told me I was the meanest mommy ever. Yeah ok, she has never watched Mommy Dearest. I know I am not mean, but it hurts when your child looks at you with tears running down her face and tells you how mean you are.
After she got ready for bed, I called her to me. I calmly told her that I loved her very much and that I was sorry she became so angry. I explained to her that even Jesus got angry, but that the Bible says we aren't supposed to sin in our anger. I explained to her that it was her choice to fly off the handle like that not mine. Her actions got her sent to bed early. I prayed with her and hugged her and told her again how much I loved her. This time, she told me she loved me too.
So, as I sit here writing this blog, I feel drained. Knowing that this isn't the last time I will have to deal with alien Kierstynne's anger and attitude, I pray for strength. I pray God will show me the right things to say, the correct way to punish her when she disobeys, and that He will give me the patience to see her through. I love my child so much and only want her to grow up to be a well rounded, good person who loves the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind and strength. I hate it when she has those fits. Will she grow out of them? I surely hope so.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Portrait of Jesus
A few days ago, I posted on Facebook about a message I heard from Evangelist Carl Harris. He talked about how the world views Jesus. It gave me a totally new perspective on the crucifiction. I would like to share it with you here and expound on it from my perspective..
When you see pictures of Jesus, you see many different things. In some He looks angelic. Some portray Him with blond hair and blue eyes. Some even show Him looking kind of feminine and weak. Not that all women are weak..but you understand my meaning. Even the pictures showing Jesus on the cross portray Him as skinny, pale and weak-looking. I do not believe this is the case and after listening to Carl Harris, I know this is not the truth.
First off, Jesus was a Jew from Israel. Most, not all, but most of the people from Israel are olive complected. They have dark hair and dark eyes. This dispells the notion that Jesus looks white...no blond hair, no blue eyes.
Secondly, Jesus was a carpenter. He spent hours and hours using hand tools and good, old fashioned muscle power. He had no skill saws, dremels, automatic drills or nail guns. Everything He did, He did by hand. This means that His biceps, pecs and triceps were huge. He wasn't wimpy or weak in the least. The Bible tells us that Jesus went into the temple and overturned the money changer's table. These were not particle board tables. They were heavy, solid wood tables and some may have even been made from stone. With just His arms and righteous indignation, He overturned them. Not a job for a weakly wimp. He walked every where that He went which means that His leg muscles were very strong and well defined. To use a modern day term, and meaning no disrespect, Jesus was buff. He more than likely could have taken on many of today's body builders with no problem.
Thirdly, When Jesus walked the Via Delarosa up to Calvary, He carried the cross beam that would later be attatched to the cross. History tells us that these beams weighed upwards of 500 pounds. He carried this beam and only stumbled once that we know of. This, after being beaten and abused, is a sign of great strength. The Bible tells us that Jesus was unreckonizable as a man. His skin was lacerated to the point of being all but gone. What was left of it, was just hanging on His body. There were bruises and lacerations on His face, His beard had been plucked out and a crown of thorns were brutally pushed into His scalp. These were not the thorns that we think of on roses. These thorns were anywhere from 1-2 inches long.
Now, I want you to imagine the reaction of the Roman Centurions as they watched this man walk up Calvary's Hill. They knew they had to crucify this man. They knew, as they stood there, that they were about to drive stakes that looked much like the railroad ties we have today into this man's wrists. As He lay himself down, with a little help I am sure, on the cross, I can imagine the centurions thinking to themselves, "How are we going to wrestle this man's arms down. He is so strong, even in His condition. I don't know if I really want to do this. He could kill me with one blow." I'm sure their words would have been alittle different, but the concept was the same.
Grabbing one hand, they were amazed at how easy it was to stretch out Jesus' arm on the beam. BANG! BANG! BANG! No screams of pain, no pulling against the hands that held the arm. Amazed is probably a good word for the thoughts running through the centurion's minds. They couldn't believe that this man was just lying there. Ok, now for the other hand. Is He going to fight this time now that He knows what it's like? Is He going to reach up and strangle me? Ok, here goes nothing. But before they could reach for Jesus' other arm, He, of His own free will and conciously, laid His arm across the beam. How utterly amazing. Who would voluntarily lay their arm across the beam knowing it was about to have a spike driven through it? Is this man crazy? Does He like pain? No, He was in love. With you and me. Jesus' love for us is what possessed Him to lay His arms outstretched. Love allowed those spikes to be driven into His flesh and sinew. Love nailed Him to that cross. Now to set the cross in the ground. There was an 18 inch deep hole that the centurions had to set the cross in. This wasn't a sanded, rounded corner, beautifully shellached cross. It wasn't for decoration. It was a rough hewn log with a cross beam. No splinters had been sanded. Jesus wasn't just going to slide easily down to a resting place. As the ropes were pulled taut, the cross began to raise. Positioned over the hole, it dropped into the hole. Jesus' body slid down with a jolt. Splinters the size of small branches would have slid into the exposed muscle on His shoulders, back, backside and thighs. Not a pretty picture is it? And to think, He loved you that much.
Hanging there on that cross, Jesus could have said one word and it would have been over. A simple word would have ended all the pain and humiliation He was experiencing. "Come" would have taken Him away to His father in heaven. At that one word, 10,000 angels would have flew down from heaven to rescue their Maker. But your life was worth more than His pain. Your eternity meant more to Jesus than His discomfort. Picture in your mind...Heaven and the angels gathered around God's throne. You can hear them begging. Pleading..Gabriel and Michael on their knees, tears flowing down their faces begging God to let them go get Jesus. How emotional that day was, not just for Jesus' mother and friends, but for His father and the angels in heaven.
Many people think God turned His face away from Jesus because He couldn't stand to see His Son suffer like that. That may very well be true, but I think He turned away because He wanted to send the angels to get Jesus. Yes, God knew His Son had to suffer death on the cross and become the one last final sacrifice for salvation, but as a parent, I think it was excruciating for Him to not save His Son. I can't imagine not doing everything in my power to save Kierstynne from death. I would call 911, I would go through hell and back to save her. She is my daughter, my flesh and blood. I would have had to turn away too because I would have sent the angels to get Him. God knew, from the beginning of time, that His Son, Jesus, would endure death on a cross, but the actuality of seeing it was torture for God. Knowing that in order for His creation, whom He loved beyond belief, to be able to spend eternity with Him, He had to sacrafice His one and only Son. That love, agape love in the Greek, is unfathomable for most people. Would you be able to sacrifice your child for the salvation of the whole world?
As Jesus hung there on that tree, I can only imagine the thoughts running through His mind. Or was the pain so intense that He couldn't even concentrate? Looking up into the heavens, could He see the angels watching? Could He see His father's face? I don't know. I would like to think that even if He couldn't see them that He could feel the love radiating down.
Jesus asked for one thing while He was hanging there. Something to ease the dryness in His mouth. When He realized that the water they offered Him was laced with some kind of opiate, He refused. Why? What He was doing He was doing of His free will. He wanted no pain relief. He wanted to be in His right mind. He wanted to be concious of His sacrifice. I believe that if He had given in and took of the gall they offered, the world would have said He was drunk and didn't have a clue. In order for the Cross to mean what it was meant to mean, Jesus did everything fully concious and with deliberation.
So the next time you find yourself taking the cross for granted or find the crucifiction story becoming mundane, think about what you have just read. Think about how much God loved you when He didn't even know you physically here on earth. When Jesus was on the cross, You were on His mind.
When you see pictures of Jesus, you see many different things. In some He looks angelic. Some portray Him with blond hair and blue eyes. Some even show Him looking kind of feminine and weak. Not that all women are weak..but you understand my meaning. Even the pictures showing Jesus on the cross portray Him as skinny, pale and weak-looking. I do not believe this is the case and after listening to Carl Harris, I know this is not the truth.
First off, Jesus was a Jew from Israel. Most, not all, but most of the people from Israel are olive complected. They have dark hair and dark eyes. This dispells the notion that Jesus looks white...no blond hair, no blue eyes.
Secondly, Jesus was a carpenter. He spent hours and hours using hand tools and good, old fashioned muscle power. He had no skill saws, dremels, automatic drills or nail guns. Everything He did, He did by hand. This means that His biceps, pecs and triceps were huge. He wasn't wimpy or weak in the least. The Bible tells us that Jesus went into the temple and overturned the money changer's table. These were not particle board tables. They were heavy, solid wood tables and some may have even been made from stone. With just His arms and righteous indignation, He overturned them. Not a job for a weakly wimp. He walked every where that He went which means that His leg muscles were very strong and well defined. To use a modern day term, and meaning no disrespect, Jesus was buff. He more than likely could have taken on many of today's body builders with no problem.
Thirdly, When Jesus walked the Via Delarosa up to Calvary, He carried the cross beam that would later be attatched to the cross. History tells us that these beams weighed upwards of 500 pounds. He carried this beam and only stumbled once that we know of. This, after being beaten and abused, is a sign of great strength. The Bible tells us that Jesus was unreckonizable as a man. His skin was lacerated to the point of being all but gone. What was left of it, was just hanging on His body. There were bruises and lacerations on His face, His beard had been plucked out and a crown of thorns were brutally pushed into His scalp. These were not the thorns that we think of on roses. These thorns were anywhere from 1-2 inches long.
Now, I want you to imagine the reaction of the Roman Centurions as they watched this man walk up Calvary's Hill. They knew they had to crucify this man. They knew, as they stood there, that they were about to drive stakes that looked much like the railroad ties we have today into this man's wrists. As He lay himself down, with a little help I am sure, on the cross, I can imagine the centurions thinking to themselves, "How are we going to wrestle this man's arms down. He is so strong, even in His condition. I don't know if I really want to do this. He could kill me with one blow." I'm sure their words would have been alittle different, but the concept was the same.
Grabbing one hand, they were amazed at how easy it was to stretch out Jesus' arm on the beam. BANG! BANG! BANG! No screams of pain, no pulling against the hands that held the arm. Amazed is probably a good word for the thoughts running through the centurion's minds. They couldn't believe that this man was just lying there. Ok, now for the other hand. Is He going to fight this time now that He knows what it's like? Is He going to reach up and strangle me? Ok, here goes nothing. But before they could reach for Jesus' other arm, He, of His own free will and conciously, laid His arm across the beam. How utterly amazing. Who would voluntarily lay their arm across the beam knowing it was about to have a spike driven through it? Is this man crazy? Does He like pain? No, He was in love. With you and me. Jesus' love for us is what possessed Him to lay His arms outstretched. Love allowed those spikes to be driven into His flesh and sinew. Love nailed Him to that cross. Now to set the cross in the ground. There was an 18 inch deep hole that the centurions had to set the cross in. This wasn't a sanded, rounded corner, beautifully shellached cross. It wasn't for decoration. It was a rough hewn log with a cross beam. No splinters had been sanded. Jesus wasn't just going to slide easily down to a resting place. As the ropes were pulled taut, the cross began to raise. Positioned over the hole, it dropped into the hole. Jesus' body slid down with a jolt. Splinters the size of small branches would have slid into the exposed muscle on His shoulders, back, backside and thighs. Not a pretty picture is it? And to think, He loved you that much.
Hanging there on that cross, Jesus could have said one word and it would have been over. A simple word would have ended all the pain and humiliation He was experiencing. "Come" would have taken Him away to His father in heaven. At that one word, 10,000 angels would have flew down from heaven to rescue their Maker. But your life was worth more than His pain. Your eternity meant more to Jesus than His discomfort. Picture in your mind...Heaven and the angels gathered around God's throne. You can hear them begging. Pleading..Gabriel and Michael on their knees, tears flowing down their faces begging God to let them go get Jesus. How emotional that day was, not just for Jesus' mother and friends, but for His father and the angels in heaven.
Many people think God turned His face away from Jesus because He couldn't stand to see His Son suffer like that. That may very well be true, but I think He turned away because He wanted to send the angels to get Jesus. Yes, God knew His Son had to suffer death on the cross and become the one last final sacrifice for salvation, but as a parent, I think it was excruciating for Him to not save His Son. I can't imagine not doing everything in my power to save Kierstynne from death. I would call 911, I would go through hell and back to save her. She is my daughter, my flesh and blood. I would have had to turn away too because I would have sent the angels to get Him. God knew, from the beginning of time, that His Son, Jesus, would endure death on a cross, but the actuality of seeing it was torture for God. Knowing that in order for His creation, whom He loved beyond belief, to be able to spend eternity with Him, He had to sacrafice His one and only Son. That love, agape love in the Greek, is unfathomable for most people. Would you be able to sacrifice your child for the salvation of the whole world?
As Jesus hung there on that tree, I can only imagine the thoughts running through His mind. Or was the pain so intense that He couldn't even concentrate? Looking up into the heavens, could He see the angels watching? Could He see His father's face? I don't know. I would like to think that even if He couldn't see them that He could feel the love radiating down.
Jesus asked for one thing while He was hanging there. Something to ease the dryness in His mouth. When He realized that the water they offered Him was laced with some kind of opiate, He refused. Why? What He was doing He was doing of His free will. He wanted no pain relief. He wanted to be in His right mind. He wanted to be concious of His sacrifice. I believe that if He had given in and took of the gall they offered, the world would have said He was drunk and didn't have a clue. In order for the Cross to mean what it was meant to mean, Jesus did everything fully concious and with deliberation.
So the next time you find yourself taking the cross for granted or find the crucifiction story becoming mundane, think about what you have just read. Think about how much God loved you when He didn't even know you physically here on earth. When Jesus was on the cross, You were on His mind.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Em's Thoughts on Today
Today was a good day. Kierstynne had a birthday party at the Wilkes-Barre YMCA and after driving around the same block 3 times, we finally found it. There is no sign out front of the building so I had to ask a lady walking down Northhampton St. where the dang thing was. But, we made it. Kierstynne got to go swimming and have a nice blessing her friend, Emma, at her party.
Tim and I got to got out for date night tonight. We dropped Kierstynne off at Grandma Mary Kay's and went to Quaker Steak and Lube for dinner. It was nice, fairly quiet and delicious. We talked, as much as Tim ever talks, and just relaxed and enjoyed each others company. I love the Loaded Baked Potato Soup there. It is so very yummy.
But most of all, it was a good day because I put God first in my day. When I awoke this morning, I awoke with a song in my heart. For a little over three weeks now this has been happening. I always wondered what people meant when the said they woke up singing their heart song. Well, I don't actually wake up singing. I wouldn't want the dog to start howling, but in my head and my heart I am singing. Most days it is a different song. Some days it's the same song as the day before. But the miracle is that it is happening. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I can do nothing on my own, but through Jesus Christ, I can do ALL things.
As we were driving to dinner, I was telling Tim about the sales that AC Moore is having. I told him that it never fails that when I don't have any money, they run killer sales on scrapbooking products. My sweet husband, who is usually so pessamistic, says to me, "Well, that is your test. You are being tested to see if you are going to do what you are supposed to do." Thanks Tim. Thank you for reminding that it isn't going to be easy to fight my flesh on this whole money deal. Especially when there are some scrapbooking items I need to finish the Christmas presents I am making. But, I know that God is good and He will see me through to the end of this addiction to spending money. I know that God will strengthen me to stay away from the stores. I thank Him for providing me with those little reminders.
Tim and I got to got out for date night tonight. We dropped Kierstynne off at Grandma Mary Kay's and went to Quaker Steak and Lube for dinner. It was nice, fairly quiet and delicious. We talked, as much as Tim ever talks, and just relaxed and enjoyed each others company. I love the Loaded Baked Potato Soup there. It is so very yummy.
But most of all, it was a good day because I put God first in my day. When I awoke this morning, I awoke with a song in my heart. For a little over three weeks now this has been happening. I always wondered what people meant when the said they woke up singing their heart song. Well, I don't actually wake up singing. I wouldn't want the dog to start howling, but in my head and my heart I am singing. Most days it is a different song. Some days it's the same song as the day before. But the miracle is that it is happening. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I can do nothing on my own, but through Jesus Christ, I can do ALL things.
As we were driving to dinner, I was telling Tim about the sales that AC Moore is having. I told him that it never fails that when I don't have any money, they run killer sales on scrapbooking products. My sweet husband, who is usually so pessamistic, says to me, "Well, that is your test. You are being tested to see if you are going to do what you are supposed to do." Thanks Tim. Thank you for reminding that it isn't going to be easy to fight my flesh on this whole money deal. Especially when there are some scrapbooking items I need to finish the Christmas presents I am making. But, I know that God is good and He will see me through to the end of this addiction to spending money. I know that God will strengthen me to stay away from the stores. I thank Him for providing me with those little reminders.
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